That time I cried in the Stroller Aisle...

Erika:

So, I've been doing some reading....
"100 Reasons to Panic About Having a Baby"

Needless to say, it's been a little stressful around our home. I still find lots of moments, when there happens to be a little calm, that I get suddenly super fluttery and excited about baby. I imagine Baby being there, and get explosively happy.  But then I stop and look around and realize... ish is about to get real.

We haven't had a Baby Shower yet, but those will be coming up in the next month. I have finally solidified our registries with everything I think baby needs. I know, Baby needs nothing. Just the two of us and some milk. But with this crazy baby industry, and all these Baby Center reminders about what I must have or get done before baby gets here, it's enough to make me want to curl up into a small little puddle of panic on the floor... (see above.)
I mean, I really appreciate the reminders and information. I am learning so much. But it's also kinda stressing me out. Like, LOOK at this...

The one I'm referring to is, "Time's running out for key birth choices!"

And I worry.... Over the last year, I have purged so much stuff from our house... just to add a ton more stuff  to it!? I am aware of how much room baby stuff can take up. Even though Baby is tiny, Baby's accessories are not. I'm afraid of getting burried under bottles, blankets, and binkies!

In early November some time, I began our registry. And even though I had NO idea what I was doing, I have been heavily addicted ever since. (I blame my sister-in-law.) Around that time she showed me the infamous Babyli.st website and that very day, I signed up for an account. It's almost as dangerous as Pinterest. Over time, our registry morphed around a lot until I recently had to just let it be. But the types of questions that ran through my head were:

"How safe is this for my baby?" "Which one got the highest ratings?" "How reliable is the word organic?" "What mattress might suffocate my baby?" "Who's reviews can I trust the most?" "How do any of these people really know what they're talking about?"

Stress. Decisions. Choices. Ugh.

I will say, the one site I went to and trusted the most was Lucie's List. All the reviews are super thorough with lots of links. She's been my go-to for everything from bottles to beds.

Most of my registry began with online window shopping. I put anything and everything in there, and over the last few months I emptied stuff out, put stuff back, and narrowed it all down. (If you think it's crazy now... you should have seen it around December....) And once Baby is here, I realize that he or she might not even like ANY OF IT. So... maybe this is all for nothing.

Eventually Luis and I decided to actually walk into a store to check stuff out in person. We had a rough idea of what we wanted, but wanted to see for ourselves. Well... lots of this stuff is WAY bigger in person! This Euro Bath for instance. Look how freaking big it is! I had it on my registry. It had great reviews, we knew we wanted something simple... but it's ginormous! We have a small condo, with small bathrooms. This was not going to cut it. SO, off the list it went. 

Then came the strollers. Oh Lord, the STROLLERS! 

Mind you, we walked into the store with a pretty clear vision of what we thought we wanted. We thought we knew the stroller basics, already researched the safety ratings and would look at our top two and decide... easy peazy. Well, the lady at the store asked if we needed any help, and I immediately regreted saying yes.

I had NO IDEA strollers were SO. FREAKING. COMPLICATED!

There are umbrella strollers, and jogging strollers, travel systems, and stroller frames for just the baby carriers.... What kind of handles do you want? What kind of tires do you want? What age is the stroller for? Can they lay all the way back? Does it have a car seat adapter? How much shade does it have? Is it easy to close and open? Can you do it with one hand? Consider the space in the bottom and how sturdy it is if you hang something off the back, is it gonna fall over? 

...I just wanted to see the one with the three wheels and the one in color I liked.... These two weren't even in the same category so it was like comparing apples and bananas!

On the verge of tears, standing in the middle of the  stroller aisle.... We left even more clueless and overwhelmed. And when I say "we" I mean "I." Luis handles this stuff with such ease and certainty that "we'll figure it out" and "it's not a big deal." It's a gift.

He did have fun taking them for test drives and practice folds.

The other thing that has been a little challenging is finding stuff that's Gender Neutral. Yes, we're still keeping it a surprise. It's definitely not as hard as I thought, but it kinda sucks when I see a cute little dress or a tiny little bow tie, and I can't buy it or put it on the registry. (Secret... I've been buying it anyway... Shhhh...) And although I love the colors green and yellow, I don't want everything in those colors. One can only handle so many froggies and duckies. 

After several people told me, "Good Luck with all the green and yellow you're going to get..."
I walk into a Target and was greeted by this. lol. FYI, their options have recently expanded. 

Baby will be coming home in black & white. I have a little black headband or white bow registered for, just in case it's a girl, and a cute little beanie if it's a boy.

So, on my registry I left a message for people saying PLEASE SHARE YOUR WISDOM WITH US!  I am WAY open to suggestions and advice and hand-me-downs. I want to know what worked best for you! It may or may not be right for us, but it's great to hear what's worked or not worked for other people. 

So, all that being said, I feel like we have a better grip on this whole "Baby Stuff" situation.
And in the end, it's all just stuff. 

"Baby, we might make some mistakes along the way... no, I know we will. But know that we're always trying to do what's best and also trying to figure it out as we go. I've already read up on how to make sure you're the "Happiest Baby on the Block" and I know that with us in our arms, you will be. At least... we'll be the happiest parents, for sure."
---excerpt from letter to our baby

When It Rains, It ...Floods

Luis:

Back in 2011

            Wisdom is an ally you earn with age and nothing is sweeter than learning from your mistakes. About 5 years ago we had a flood, The Great Flood of 2011. Not from external forces but from an upstairs air conditioning pipe. It completely destroyed our ceiling, couch, dinning table, bookshelf, dry wall, our savings and our sanity. With no homeowners insurance we paid the price. However upset and disappointed we were, we got through it. We ended up with new floors, a new paint job and smaller more appropriate furniture for the space we have. I also was sure to add homeowners insurance to our monthly bills.

2016

            Just after Valentines Day, that insurance was put to use. This time it was a slab leak. The vinyl flooring in the kitchen had filled with water. It felt as if you were walking in mud and the water would squirt up through the cracks. Having gone through this before, we knew that this would pass and we didn't need to waste time feeling sorry for ourselves.  Wisdom had taught us a difficult lesson that life happens, so we were flexible and just went with the flow.

            In times like this its great to know you have friends who know how to stay positive and supportive around you. Everyone has said, "At least it's happening now, before the baby gets here." And it's true. We have a healthy baby growing, who will be here in a few short months, and the new flooring will be ready for them to play on. And this time, we don't’ have to pay for it. 

Erika:

        I'm having a bit of a hard time trying to focus and breathe lately. I know that things are going to get done. I know that it's a good thing this all happened now, and not when baby is here. But I do feel a tiny overwhelmed sometimes thinking about all we have left to do.

With the downstairs now being our priority, we've had to put the nursery on hold.  I'm here wondering...
Where are we going to put the baby?? 
I have been staring at paint chips and floor samples for about a month, slowly getting rid of even more stuff we had stored in that room. It's basically become a garage of sorts. So we've dumped and donated a ton of stuff in the last few months.

I've also sorted out all the baby clothes I have already and the portion of the closet that will belong to baby is totally organized now with the few items we've been given so far.

This is going to be for toys eventually, but right now I have all the clothes in here, organized by age.
I still have to wash them and hang them up. You're supposed to wash them first, right?

Poh is so ready for Baby. This pouf is the only thing he is going to be allowed touch.

Please don't eat all the stuff....

With all of these hurdles 2016 has placed before us, I'm always brought back to gratitude and hope. I'm reminded of how much loved ones come together in tough times and how even just our road to have a baby has involved so many people.  It doesn't just take a village to raise a baby. It takes a village to get through life. So, with that spirit in mind, this was a small thing I posted today, on the one year anniversary of my cousin's passing and also the day we first met Tina. 

It's been a year.
Every time I think of Key, I think of Strength, Beauty, Joy, Inspiration, Hope, and Peace.

On this same day a year ago we also met the person who is currently carrying and caring for our little one. She has become like family and her sacrifce is immesurable. She is also a woman of Strength, Beauty, and Joy, who has given us a sense of Hope, Inspiration, and Peace.

I pray that our little one will embody these same elements of life and have Key's spirit. 

With death, there is life.
With struggle, there is strength.
With hurt, there is healing.
With despair, there is hope. 

This day has taught me that.

"Good news, Baby. You're going to have a completely re-modeled house to come home to this summer! Though it wasn't necessarily part of the plan, it's a blessing in disguise. We're trying hard to get it ready in time for your arrival. However, we know that once you're here, none of this stuff is going to matter. All that will matter is that you're finally here with us." 
---excerpt from a letter to our baby

Lots of Love

Erika:

Little Love Monster Tina's daughter made from the craft set my brother's family mailed out to the kids. THANK YOU SO MUCH!

So, February was a time for lots of celebrations.  The weekend before our 24 week OB visit was Valentine's Day.

I'll quickly say that at this point we're no longer going to have any more ultrasound fun time with baby unless necessary. When I asked our physician's assistant when we'd be able to see baby again, she said, "Well, I'm thinking in... June." Then we all laughed, but I also whined a little. I went from seeing baby every couple of weeks... to now not at all. Our PA let us know that really, "Less is more," and it's better that we don't have to do any more ultrasounds because it means things are moving along smoothly and normally. So, we're grateful for that.

On Valentine's Day, none of us had any plans, so we decided to do a double date with Tina and her husband. He'd heard of this great spot called Beer Belly in Korea Town and I am SO glad we went. Between the 4 of us we ordered like seven different items... all seven were cheesy and delicious. Here's just a glimpse...

These are the duck fat fries, the grilled cheese, and the mac n cheese. We also got a humongous quesadilla, wings, and another order of french fries.

And let me also say, we did this the right way. Family style. We each ordered whatever our little hearts desired and then shared everything.... Baby ate really well that night. We were all stuffed to the brim and we rolled out of Beer Belly with full bellies and a growing baby belly.

Somehow, we found room for one more stop and we went to Urth for some delicious Chai and desserts. Super cute spot and not too far from where we were. 

We sat out on the patio and talked about our pasts and about parenting and it was honestly such a great time. Not sure how we lucked out, but God has definitely blessed us through this new found friendship through food and family. :)

We tried going to the Griffith on Valentine's Day....  Don't ever do that. We almost made it though!

And finally... 2 weeks later... we finally introduced Tina to the Grandparents! Our moms had been waiting for this day, since the day I sent them our first selfie at transfer! The whole day was fantastic. 

My dad an Ricky mostly watched AFV while we all chatted and caught up.
Luis played tetherball (or "run from the tetherball") with the kids.

You can't even imagine how happy the grandmas were. Like through the roof. 
We all sat around eating taquitos and sopes (gorditas) and talked about guesses about baby's gender. Still no clue! 
...Except for Abuelita Evelia... She has no doubt in her mind.

Their human jungle gym. Always the best time.

Epic Chocoflan. It's like magic. Tina has forever changed our worlds in more ways than one.

And even though we don't see this one enough... I know she's excited to be an auntie.
We were so happy to have her there for this.

Love. Para siempre.

I also am IN LOVE with this clip from "Envy." A movie I've actually never seen, but this literally happened with the kids as soon as we announced it was "Chocoflan Time." Arlene's boyfriend saw everyone's excitement over flan and was like... hold up... you guys gotta see this....

"Baby... I am so happy all of your abuelos got to spend some time with you! They cannot contain all of their excitement! I hope you were able to hear how excited your grandmas are. I also hope you heard Papa yell out the word, "Perro!" for the first time! Poh had snuck into the house.... I also hope you heard your Abuelo say a prayer for you. We are already so aware of the huge blessing you are.

 And guess what! I even got to feel you move around a little bit!  It was the first time ever. You swirled around and did a cute little roll. I'm sure you felt all of the belly rubs and the love and all of the joy that was surrounding you that night. 

P.S. I hope you like flan." 
---excerpt from a letter to our baby

The Element of Surprise

From my amazing friend Jen.
"The Wonderful Things You Will Be" by Emily Winfield Martin

Erika:

So, in the last couple of weeks many of you have been asking me this very question....

it's a... from Erika Perales on Vimeo. I Love Lucy season 2

Whelp! That's all I can say too. Last week we had our 20 week anatomy scan and we totally could have found out what it is... but we held strong. We did not turn around to see the screen. Luis and I both looked at each other, wide-eyed... freaking out... realizing THIS was our chance... that all we had to do was give in and we'd be able to find out! All we had to do was turn our heads.... Oh MAN, we were so close to turning around. At least I was. 

All we needed to know is baby is healthy, everything looked good, it's average size right now, with fairly long arms (like the Mezas) and has a super cute nose. The best part was it looked like baby was praying at one point, with its hands cupped together. I will assume baby was praying for "Papa." 

These are the eyes I was locked into so I wouldn't turn around.

Baby waving!

Baby praying!

Baby!!!

When we told people that we weren't planning on finding out the gender, 99.9% of people said we were out of our minds. Like straight, CRAZY. But at this point, after waiting so long... I honestly don't care one way or the other. We are just so excited to be having a BABY. And I don't feel like I need to know what it is (other than a healthy baby) in order to plan and feel connected. I will say, when we were in Mexico... it was a bit challenging... and I ended up buying both little boy AND little girl stuff. And even when we went to Vietnam a few years ago, I bought a little blue AND a little pink kimono. But even once they're here... our baby boy will not always wear blue, nor will our little girl always wear pink.

Our next post will be about all of the registering and planning madness that we're in right now.... I think I will call it Baby Obsession.

And "Gender Neutral" is apparently really common now. Ducks and Frogs are no longer your only option! (Thank you God.) There are like a million colors out there and most look great for boys and girls. Also, we've already planned out how to make our "travel-themed" GN nursery. Oh... and that's actually a cool story. So, maybe a month or so into the pregnancy, I started thinking about nursery ideas. I'd shown Luis some images of blankets and wall-hangings related to travel, since we've been lots of places and since baby is our new "adventure."  Up until that point, I hadn't mentioned the idea to anyone else. Well, then like 3 weeks later Tina sent me a link to a GN travel-themed nursery! and was like, "...totally thought of you guys... It is perfect for Baby Perales." I was like NO WAY! She totally read my mind! We were thinking of the SAME thing! The link even had some baby blankets and decorations I'd already found. It's super awesome to see how in-tune Tina has been with us.

OH! one more thing... Last week Tina texted me that she ate pizza and the baby started kicking like crazy! Yay! Baby likes Pizza!!! It's definitely a Dominguez!!!

Here's a look at the video from the 20 week scan. ...by the way, if you have a good eye for telling if a baby is a boy or a girl... keep it to yourself please! It had been almost 2 months since we'd seen baby (we had been used to every 2 weeks...) so when you see this, baby is HUGE! Size of a banana here. No longer just a tiny blueberry....

 
Anatomy scan from Erika Perales on Vimeo.
(You can watch a few other Baby Perales videos from our blog here.)

#TBT  Grain of rice status! 6wk heartbeat!
(You can watch a few more Baby Perales videos from our blog here, too.)

"Baby, it was so amazing getting to hear your heartbeat again! It had been way too long since we'd seen you. I can't believe how much you've grown! But the days are going by more quickly now! And soon we'll get to meet you, face to face! Thank you for praying for Papa! It's working!" 
---excerpt from a letter to our baby

The year of...

Erika:

     It's been a few weeks since we've posted... and this was definitely not a post I'd planned on writing.  For those of you who may not know, my father had a major stroke on January 2nd. In the last two weeks, my family has put their lives on hold to take care of my dad and focus on his recovery.  In this time, I've thought again and again about what this post might look like. I've decided the only thing I can do is focus on gratitude.
     Experiencing something like this (at this particular time in our lives, with a grandbaby on the way) brings up a million different emotions... anger, shock, sadness, frustration... it's true for all of us affected. I honestly feel that the only way for me to cope and get through, sanely, is to focus on all of the things, big and small that I can be grateful for. Are there any?... Well, let's see....

We were all together when it happened... This was the first time we were all together (all 4 of us siblings) in Mexico for the first time in 15 years. This allowed us to be there for him and for each other. I can't imagine having been back home and only hearing about this.

We made amazing memories on this trip alone... We climbed pyramids, we danced, we laughed, we ate, we heard stories, we made plans....

Family was quick to act... my family rushed to his side and got him to the closest hospital as soon as physically possible. The entire family ran with him from the ring to the car... calling out his name, letting him know we're all here with him.

He got the best care possible... once we got him transferred to the major hospital, we knew that he was in good hands... they kept us updated, remained positive, and helped my dad make huge initial strides.

His hands... in those first hours once he was transferred and I saw his hands wave... I knew that he was ok. I knew that he was fighting. ...That he would get through this.

The positivity from my cousins... hearing encouraging stories from my cousins about people they knew who'd suffered a stroke, hearing the certainty that my family had in my dad's recovery... those positive words, vibes, and prayers started within minutes of this all happening, and I think it's the only way that I got through it. They kept me positive, and they continue to be that voice of hope and faith.... I still go to them for that reassurance. Thank you, thank you, thank you....

He gets excited to see me.... the first time I saw him back in California, I popped into the doorway, and he sat up as straight as he could and instantly began fixing his hair and face to make sure he was presentable.

My mom... She is strong. She is focused. We will all be there for her to help her with this new part of her life and make sure she doesn't have to face it alone.

Friends, strangers, and family are giving... of their time, of their ears, of their prayers, of their hearts.... Not only did people donate to our funds to help pay for the medical expenses, but they made us dinner, they helped us put away Christmas decorations, they listened to our stories, they texted and called, they let us voice our worries, they reassured us of the good things to come....

My dad is here. My dad can laugh. My dad can walk. My dad can smile and make the faces he's always made.

I can hear my dad's voice; my dad can hear me.


Tina... She is probably one of the world's best listeners. She has a prayerful heart and genuine compassion. She has been taking care of baby through all of this, giving me all the updates which I've been able to relay to my dad. Now at 20 weeks (half way point!) I am grateful to be this much closer to meeting baby. Our little one will be here soon. I think "baby therapy" will be amazing. :)


2015 had taught me many things, but the biggest is how out of control we are in this life. 2016 started with an undeniable reminder. There will be miracles and setbacks in this new journey that we're on. And as sudden and as shocking as this has been I know that it's completely in God's hands and I have no choice but to put all my faith in Him. All I can do is have hope that things will be better, and understand that it's a new day every morning. The mantra I have repeated for years and the one that I share with others (especially new mommies to be) is "Breathe in Faith, breathe out fear...." And so, I do. More so than ever.

While at the hospital in Mexico, I went downstairs to get Advil for our pounding headaches... Instead, I spent my pesos on these. They are the SOFTEST. When Luis and I left for California, I left one for my dad. I sleep with the other one every night.

My mom sent me a picture of my dad holding the slipper. 

Luis:

Usually a New Year brings hope for changes, new starts and a quick look back at the year that was. It was the first time in a long time since the entire Dominguez family had packed their belongings and headed down south to Mexico City to celebrate the New Year.  We had spent several days enjoying meals and family celebrations. It was in these moments of joy that an unexpected stroke struck Pachu. No time to think just act. As fast as a Matador has to make a split second decision as a bull glides towards him, the Dominguez family organized and moved a fallen Pachu out of the ring and to the nearest hospital. No disagreements, no hesitation, just action. 

In those following minutes, hours, days our mind goes through all of the possibilities of what may come. The worst of what can happen dominates our minds. In these dark times, this family showed what it means to be one. Not just in words, actions and generosity, but most importantly in spirit. The overwhelmingly positive outlook on such a devastating moment powered the safe return of Pachu back to the United States. 

Everyone played his or her part. Those who talked, talked. Those who touched, touched. Those who organized, organized. Those who listened, listened. Those who gave, gave abundantly and those who prayed, prayed relentlessly. 

Being a couple of weeks removed now, this experience has begun what I will call the year of the Family. Not just for our growing family with baby coming, but for the Dominguez family who now needs each other more than ever to see what their journey with Pachu will be. I smile and thank God for He is faithful to those who seek Him and He is Gracious to those who listen. We are going to raise a baby with a family who are fighters, not fearful at the bull coming their way.  

The only picture taken of Pachu in the ring. Minutes before the stroke. 

"Baby... I want you to know that I believe, with everything I have, that Papa has been fighting for you. When he was in the hospital, you had just started kicking a couple of days before.... New Year's Eve in fact. Your kicks were super strong on the right side for the next few days... and that happened to be the side that Papa needed to work on. I told him how strong you were and how much you were kicking around on the right side and that he needed to focus on his right side too. I prayed that he'd even feel you kick. Within 2 weeks he was not only kicking his right leg... but by day 10 he was walking! Baby we love you and cannot wait for you to meet your "Papa." He loves you very much, and  has been looking forward to meeting you and finally getting to hold you in his arms. And with any luck, he'll get to dance with you and show you how to fight a bull."
---excerpt from a letter to our baby