Tiny & Strong

Erika:

          Going through this surrogacy process and going in for appointments with our fertility clinic has given us a perspective on life and the whole babyhood process that we may not have been super aware of, otherwise. Even before transfer I used an IVF website that helped calculate and project a potential due date and it gave me all of the teeny tiny little milestones our little Baby Blast would be experiencing. 

   
      At the time of our Beta test, Baby was only 4 weeks old (poppyseed status). But even just 1 week later, the heart was going to begin contracting! It was 4 days after our positive test, well into week 5, and the heart was set to start doing its thing on October 3rd, (according to my calculator #nerd). Coincidence or not, we were out celebrating my brother's birthday that day, and I found this in my drink. <<<
      Our next appointment at week 6 was going to be a big one. This was going to be our first time hearing the heartbeat, hopefully, if detectable. Walking in there I was scared... nervous... had no idea what to expect. Keep in mind, up to this point I was still kind of everywhere with my emotions and was praying so hard that I be able to handle the day well. I was telling myself... well, it's still early, so maybe the heart won't be loud enough... we probably won't be able to see anything.... Totally psyching myself out. We met up with Tina and we were all hugs and nervous smiles. And then we went in. 

Super teeny tiny, like a lentil, it's hard to even see. We were actually twisting our heads a lot at this appointment 
trying to figure out the difference between sack and baby.

Sack is to the right. Baby is to the left... looks like a little snowman.

But then we heard it. Faint at first... then booming. At 6wks 4 days, heartbeat was at 124. "Perfect," according  to the nurse. People ask what my reaction was... and honestly I think it was PURE SHOCK. 

Jaw on the floor silence and then some nervous giggles (listen for Luis).... 

Like... Holy crap... that's our baby.... It's a little life. With a little heart. And I could hear it! Something that had seemed so far away and unattainable... was coming in loud and clear. In the video you hear it loud only for like a second, 

but I mean... just... Wow.....

Baby 6wks from Erika Perales on Vimeo.

Probably the MOST surreal moment of my life. I needed someone to slap me! ...still do!

Even earlier than this, Tina told us that she had started feeling nauseous, exhausted, and she was having a hard time cooking meat. All great symptoms for pregnancy, but we wanted to help her out in any way we could. We got her a goodie bag filled with things she'd said helped her during her other pregnancies and a few extras.

We also got her a book to read to her kids about surrogacy called, "Sophia's Broken Crayons." It is such a sweet book, that explains surrogacy from the perspective of a child and was written by a surrogate. It's beautifully written and gives lots of great information about the whole process.

Luis:

In a traditional pregnancy you would have the opportunity to surprise or find a unique way of telling your parents that they are becoming grandparents. My mother has been waiting for a long time to be a grandma. A long time. Within the first year of being married she even had a dream playset built in their backyard (Erika calls it the Field of Dreams move). 

Over the years, she has adopted many of my friends children as her own and I guess I really did not understand her excitement to have a grandchild. Now as we get the gift of a heartbeat it sinks in for me that this cycle of life and death is something that happens to all of us as we mature. We spend so much time, patience, energy, love in raising our own children that the idea of that child that we raised doing the same to another life is a completion of a cycle. There was no big surprise or no crazy elaborate trickery in telling my parents. The sole beat of a heart was enough. And according to the strength of that beat my mother is certain it will be a "baron" aka boy.  

As much happiness as I have in soon becoming a parent, it brings me even more joy to know our child is going to have a family surrounding them that has been through many rough times, celebrations, and growth. More importantly it has a heart ready to be filled with love. 

Erika:

For the record, I think the heartbeat would be just as strong, girl or boy.

"It's crazy that someone so tiny can have a heartbeat so strong.... Hearing your heart has made ours full." 
---excerpt from a letter to our baby