In the Mess & the Miracles

Erika:

A year ago today I climbed the pyramid of the Sun with my dad. 

We looked forward to celebrating the start of 2016.

Ensima del sol. NYE 2015

Two days later, our entire family would face one of the most painful and trying times of our life. 

Here is an excerpt from my post last January, "The Year Of..."

"2015 had taught me many things, but the biggest is how out of control we are in this life. 2016 started with an undeniable reminder... All I can do is have hope that things will be better, and understand that it's a new day every morning."

In the hospital in Mexico last January.

As angry, resentful, and helpless as I know we all felt at times
throughout this incredibly difficult and unpredictable year, I can't help but look back
and see all of the joy, hope, and healing that this year brought us. 

Only a couple of weeks old.

God was there with us in the middle of the mess and the miracles.
And I know He'll continue to be as we go into 2017. 

These little bear booties represent all the hope we held onto all year.

We've all come a long way.
NYE 2016

"Mateo, you were the light our family needed in a pretty dark time. Even while you were in Tina's belly, you were giving us hope for the future. You connect with Papa and everyone you meet in such a special way. I've seen you bring love and comfort to people in the middle of loss, just by letting them hold you. As crazy as everything got around us and in the world, we could always look at you to be reminded of God's promises, and of His unending, unconditional love. You will forever be the light of our life. Our most special gift." 

---excerpt from a letter to our baby

This Christmas

Erika:

I love Christmas.

That is an understatement.

I FREAKING LOVE EVERYTHING about this season. The music, the movies, the feelings, the smells, the parties, the food, the tinsel, and the trees.... My love for the season has everything to do with how I was raised, and I am super, forever grateful for that.

He could not be any happier.

Having been back at work now for about a month, it was nice to get these days back with him.

This Christmas we did all of our usual traditions, but with Mateo right there with us. I really tried to take in each thing we did as a new family, and even though I know he won't remember this one (nor even the next couple of Christmases) I made sure to sing all the songs as often as possible... put him in as many different Christmas outfits and beanies... did the Santa thing... watched the Christmas classics... and even added a tradition.

Santa must have had a long day.

Mateo made a much better Santa.

                                         
Luis decided we should take a Christmas Eve hike this year, while listening to all of my favorite holiday songs. I was definitely jingle-belling all the way.

                            

Me, Mateo, Tina, and Lilly! He always loves seeing them. <3

At a mommy and me Christmas party! This was the
bow from Mateo's very first Christmas present!

As far as gifts, Luis and I got each other "the gift of nothing."
Because all we ever wanted, is sleeping upstairs in the nursery.

Incidentally, we didn't really get Mateo anything either. All we got him was a box filled with tissue and wrapping paper.


He freakin' loved it.

I ended last year's Christmas post by saying, "2016 is going to be a life changer."

There has never been a truer statement.


Beyond all of the complications and heartache of the year is this "tiny" gift that we received, right smack dab in the middle of the madness, which has provided us with an endless amount of faith, joy, hope, and Love... and not just for me, but for our entire family. And we thank God every day for him.

"Merry Christmas baby!!! Pretty sure this was my most favorite Christmas. It brought us so much joy to celebrate this time with you. Waking up on Christmas morning to hear you cooing from your room, cuddles with you while listening to Christmas music... best present ever. Thank you for being such an amazing little man. Christmas from now on will only be better and better each year. Watching how you'll experience and enjoy it through the years is something I'll always look forward to."
---excerpt from a letter to our baby