Sunday, May 9, 2021

To the women in my life

 Erika:

I will never take motherhood for granted. It's crazy to think that at one point,  I thought this might not even be a possibility for me. Now, so many years later, we have two beautiful babies who I couldn't imagine our life without. 

My Mother's Day morning was filled with cuddles.


I am incredibly overwhelmed at the thought of all of the women in my life who have led me to motherhood and taken part in this journey. 

Mayla with the mamas.


So thank you to the women who have taught me how to be a mother. 

Thank you to my own mother, who has worked through so much joy and sorrow this year, with so much strength, grace, and honesty. Throughout my life, I have seen her do so much to break cycles and define motherhood for herself and it has absolutely shaped the woman I have become.

Thank you to the women who have acted as mothers to me and loved me as their own.

To the women who have offered up wisdom, but allowed room for discovery.

To the women who have prayed over us and sent so much love our way.

To the mothers who have shared their own struggles with me, so openly. 

To the mothers who have lent an ear and just listened to my own.

To the mothers who have generously helped nourish our babies and made them so healthy and strong.

And to the two women, Tina and Florencia, whose hearts lead them to sacrifice their own bodies to do what my body could not, and cared for my babies so deeply, as only a mother can.

We decided to share the video from Mayla's birth, figuring, so many people have been a part of our story and we really wanted to welcome you into this very special moment in our lives.







"Dear Mayla,

I look forward to seeing the kind of woman you will become. I pray that you are always surrounded by other women who will love and uplift you, whom you can lean on and trust, and I pray that you become the kind of woman who will do that in return. Love you baby girl, now and always."

---excerpt from a letter to our new baby







Saturday, May 1, 2021

Earth Day 2021


Erika:

Not that long ago we were still waiting, rather impatiently, for baby girl's arrival. But as with all things, it was not about our timing, and ultimately I couldn't have hoped for a more perfect date than Earth Day.

This is a book I've had sitting on her shelf for weeks.

Here is what that day looked like.

1:15pm  I went to the last ultrasound appointment and was so excited to see baby's little rolls on the screen. During that appointment, I'd sent Luis a message letting him know that the nurse said if they saw elevated blood pressure or anything, we'd be going straight to the hospital for her to have the baby. This prompted Luis to put on his socks, just in case he was going to have to get up and go. Ultimately though, nothing appeared to be happening, so they'd given the baby's final eviction notice for the following Tuesday. 

3:00pm   We went to drop off some paperwork at labor & delivery, and were greeted by Jason, our gummy bear-loving front desk manager. While we stood there Florencia squeezed my arm and said, "This is happening." I thought it was out of excitement to say "Yay! This is happening!" But it was to tell me she was feeling a stronger contraction and squeezed my arm to the same level so that I could get a small sense of what she felt. 

3:30 We both went home, got the kids from school and I settled on the idea that it was going to happen sometime over the weekend, at the latest Tuesday.

5:06  I get a text from Florencia, asking me to pick up gummy bears and to tell Luis to put his socks back on. This was one of many gifs I responded with.

                                                                             via GIPHY

5:30  We FaceTimed and made plans to call grandmas to come over so we could head to the hospital.

This was the most special of hugs. We'd just had to sit down and talk for about 20 minutes explaining why we had to stay the night at the hospital. It was hard, but in the end he understood. Thankfully we'd read a couple of books and watched Daniel Tiger to help prepare him, but it was still tough.

7:45  Florencia arrived at the hospital and got checked in.

7:59  We arrived at the hospital and waited for the green light to get sent back.

I still can't believe they let us all in the room.

Always her rock. I've seen him as her support during labor before and it's beautiful to witness.

It's been an honor each time I've watched Florencia give birth.

Exactly 90 minutes later, baby was here. 

I am so thankful to the entire staff that worked there that night. They took such amazing care of Florencia, and Mayla, and even looked after me and Luis. They all went above and beyond and it was all so much more generous than I could have imagined. 

Before this, I'd witnessed women birthing 5 other times. Two of those times was with Florenica. Each time I've been so awe-struck at what a woman's body is capable of, what women go through to bring life into this world and I am forever in gratitude.  


My absolute favorite photo.

And now we're all home.

Mayla is here and there are so many people in her life who love her immensely. 

Both babies in our arms.
This smile on day 5 was MAGIC. 

First day home.
First adventure out.


One week old.

"Dear Mayla,

We love you so so much. We were so anxious to meet you and it's been amazing to get to know you and watch you smile, yawn, and breathe. Seriously. All those things are amazing to me. 

Just like your brother, so many people came together to bring you here to us and we are so blessed to have you in our lives. Your little spirit has brought new life to our family and you carry inside, all of the love of all the beautiful souls who came before you, including your Papa.

Can’t wait to celebrate every Earth Day with you." 

---excerpt from a letter to our new baby





Saturday, April 24, 2021

Welcome to the world

Meet Mayla.

Our little Earth Day baby.




April 22, 2021 . 7lb 1oz . 20in



More about her birth story to come.
For now, all are home and resting. 


“Mayla Esperanza, your name sings of hope and that is what you have brought into our world.” 

- excerpt from a letter to our new baby

“Mayla” by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros






Saturday, April 17, 2021

A special re -cap while we wait ... from Florencia

 Florencia:

Tuesday, November 26, 2019. 

This was the day I read Erika’s newest post and decided I wanted to be their surrogate. 


If you haven’t read this post in a while (or ever) I suggest you go back to it.

It’s worth a second read...and a third… and if I’m being honest, I might have read it more than that.But it just spoke to me. I couldn’t shake the feeling I kept getting when Erika said they didn’t know

who, and they didn’t know when... I just felt like I knew all the answers to their questions.

By 2019, our family was complete and I knew that my family, my children, didn’t need my body

anymore in the way they once did, and it was finally time to offer it to help Erika and Luis grow

their family. 


I’m super lucky to have such an amazing and supportive husband, who asked all the right ques-

tions and made sure we thoroughly discussed this path before making the offer to Erika and Luis.I honestly wasn’t even sure if they (Luis in particular) would accept and want me to carry

their next child. What a huge honor and responsibility it is, to be given the opportunity to care

for something so precious for someone else. 

Once we were all on board, we hit the ground running. Scheduling appointments for medical clearance, psych evaluations, discussing lawyers and contracts, etc. It was all so exciting, and yet hard to let really sink in what exactly we were doing. 


One of our very first appointments was at the fertility clinic for medical clearance.
This is a picture of Florencia's uterus before baby.


She even made a crossword puzzle, inspired by the blog post.

Alan and Mica on one of our Sheperales trips.

 

Monday, July 27, 2020

The original date we had scheduled for transfer was supposed to be April 8 but when COVID hit,

we made the decision to pump the breaks on this journey we had begun.

Although no one really knew what was going to happen with the pandemic, we agreed

it would be a good idea to take a step back and wait to see how things played out.

And I’m really glad we did. 

         
A message from Florencia the day we were originally going to transfer.


TRANSFER DAY!!  Oh man. The nerves!! I knew there really wasn’t anything for me to do

but try to stay positive and hope for the best, though I kept telling myself that the first transfer

likely wouldn’t take, and tried to prepare for a failed attempt so that I would not be disappointed

when it actually happened.



BUT IT DID TAKE, AND THERE WAS NO DISAPPOINTMENT! And we were fortunate to keep riding the good news wave, from positive pregnancy tests to ultrasounds with little bean movements and a heartbeat. Every milestone we hit was equally exciting, and I thrived on giving Erika and Luis good news. Although there was always something inside me that feared the worst, I tried to stay positive and hopeful along the way that all would work out just the way it was supposed to.




Again, so extremely grateful for having such a wonderful husband by my side for this journey.

For more than ten weeks he administered my nightly progesterone shots (and anyone who knows

me KNOWS I HATE NEEDLES). Alan took such good care of me just as I was hoping to take

good care of Baby Perales.

Every night, after the kids went to bed, for weeks she'd ask the same thing,"Is it bleeding!?" She laughs about it now.



Saturday, October 3, 2020

The day we told the kids.


Erika & Luis gifted us a book titled “The Kangaroo Pouch” to help share the news with our children. We gathered on the couch and read the book together. The story basically talks about how one Kangaroo’s pouch doesn’t work so another kangaroo mama with two sons of her own offers to use her pouch to grow their baby.


After reading the book I told the kids that Mateo’s mommy was like the kangaroo mommy in the story that needed help growing a baby, and I reminded them that my “pouch” had made each of them. Christian’s first response was “Well we can’t just help someone like that!” I asked him why not and Nico chimed in with, “CORONAVIRUS!”


After a good half hour of conversations comparing and contrasting humans and kangaroos (along with sharks and other random animals) as well as the idea of how a baby is made with “one cell from a man and one cell from a woman” as the book mentioned, we finally shared that I already had baby Perales growing inside me. Christian’s jaw dropped. After some nervous laughter and a few more questions, the kids were informed and on board, ready to help their friend Mateo become a big brother. 



It’s been so much fun watching my children love on Baby P all these months.

They love her like their own, and the bond they share now will only grow as time goes on.

This baby may have only one big brother by blood, but she will have two extra special guys who

will forever watch out for her and treat her like their own sister.

The kids after a long day in the Perales house so Florencia and Alan could have a day off.

And Mica, well, she’s very excited to have her special baby friend come out and play. She often refers to Baby P as her baby, but knows she really belongs to Mateo and will not be living with us.


I am the most interested to see how that all goes when Baby P actually arrives, as I know being 3 years old means Mica will have the most trouble understanding what is going on.  


Wednesday, April 14, 2021

The due date.


By now I thought I’d be about 10 days postpartum, having hoped for an Easter Sunday delivery. But Baby P had other plans, which for the most part I am grateful for. My dad passed away on Thursday April 1, and giving birth three days later just wasn’t going to be ideal. I needed more time to process, to mourn, to work through this new transition in my life. I still need more time, and know that the loss of my father isn’t something I’m going to “get over” anytime soon (or ever). My dad was always so emotional and excited for this growing baby inside me. I know he loved her, even though she wasn’t mine, and I think he would have really loved to have met her, just as I know Erika’s dad did. It truly is heartbreaking that both Erika and I lost our fathers during this pregnancy. But now this baby girl has two angel grandfathers watching over her.




Saturday, April 17th, 2021

So, here we are. Waiting. Hoping. Breathing. Looking forward to her arrival, and the amazing

new journey we will all begin as we all transition into our new roles postpartum.

I am beyond excited for Erika and Luis to experience life as parents of TWO,

and for Mateo to experience life as a big brother


A Dutch Baby tradition. Hoping it would help her "ditch baby."


                 



We tried to re-enact the transfer day dance she did.
She really channeled her inner Amy Poehler.



"Dear Baby,

I say this with nothing but love for you… even though you spent the last few months exclusively kicking me in my right side and giving me massive heartburn, it’s been great hanging out all these months. But there are so many people all over this world (Mexico, Argentina, Belgium, Canada, Miami...) waiting to meet you.


So now, COME OUT! COME OUT! COME OUT! Your family is waiting for you. ❤️ "

---A note to Baby P from Florencia








Wednesday, April 14, 2021

Any day now...




Today is baby's due date. 4/14/2021
Both of the peartrees we have outside have just started growing pears! These are the tiniest, but so cute!


Even though she's still cookin', I know she'll be here soon.
And I think we're ready.

I love this tree shelf and all her books and Jellycat toys.


Her little library is just going to continue to grow.





So grateful for people's generosity and the hand-made, personalized gifts, like this quilt and the golden star. People are amazing.


It's 1am. I'm up. And there is so much going on in my head.

The gif I've used the most this week.


I've really been thinking a lot about Mateo and the big brother he is going to be. We have been reading books about being a big brother and what to expect, and though I know there is still going to be a transition period, I know he's going to be such a good big brother and be there for this baby girl. 

We were also given the book You Were the First... you can imagine how impossible it was for me to hold back tears. 



I made this little "bestie" onesie tonight while I watched TV and waited for a phone call from Florencia. 




Such a fun day, painting this special little egg. 

"Dear baby,

Everyone is anxiously awaiting your arrival. I know you'll get here when you're ready, and if Nana is right, your lil soul is just busy dancing around with Papa. But don't worry. Once you get here, we'll definitely keep the dancing going.

Thank you, baby girl, for slowing things down a little so that we could all could take a few days to breathe and prepare. 
We love you so much. See you soon!"

---excerpt from a letter to our new baby