Sunday, November 13, 2016

Bye Bye Baby


I don't even know how to start this post.

Tomorrow is going to be my first day back at work in five months. And although I'm excited to go back and meet my students, I've had a lump in my throat all week thinking about tomorrow. I actually burst into tears a couple of hours ago... but then I put Mateo to bed, and I felt better. He watched me as I whispered and sang to him, held onto my finger, and scratched at my chin. He comforted me. That's how amazing this kid is.

I still cannot believe how quickly the time has gone by. Seriously.
It's crazy to think back to a time, when I didn't even think this was a possibility. It's also crazy to think I ever worried about us being able to bond. From that very first second, I felt connected. And since then, that connection has only grown. He lights up when he sees us, and I think that's the one thing that will keep me motivated throughout the workday... thinking about the moment he sees me when I get home. Although, it'll be interesting to see how exhaustion will effect me at work or even when I get home after work.

 When was he ever this small? And why the heck do they grow so freaking fast!?




This is going to be such a fun time for Luis, who decided to stay at home with him until January. He's going to figure out how to do things his way, make him interesting foods, go swimming, and plan day trips and adventures. At five months, Teo is so much more aware and wants to be kept busy as much as possible. He even seems a little bored sometimes... looking around like, "Sooo... what are we going to do next? Where are we going?" Thankfully he's not mobile yet. He is, however, starting to get his first tooth and next month he's going to start eating solids! Hopefully teething doesn't get bad. So far, so good.

I am grateful to have had all this time with Mateo. I don't regret it at all. I didn't get the 9 months of straight bonding with him beforehand. These 5 have really helped catch me up. I did everything in my power to take advantage of every second.  I joined mommy groups, did baby and me yoga, took swim class, traveled, hung out with family, and really just enjoyed him, learning, laughing, and figuring it all out as we went.

"Mateo, tomorrow I'm going to try to hold it together. I will be bragging about you all day long and I'll be holding back a flood of tears. I hope that you have so much fun with Daddy! I'll look forward to hanging out with you after work every day, so make sure you don't get totally worn out." 
---excerpt from a letter to our baby

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