Sunday, May 24, 2015

Baby steps


As I have opened up to friends and family, their words of encouragement have led me to one conclusion. Everyone has a different birth story. There are lots of decisions to be made along the way, but in the end, they all lead to the same place. Babies. This journey we're on is our story... and there have been lots of decisions we've had to make already.

In early 2014 we were finally ready to get into baby-mode. Somehow our "five year plan" got a bit extended. And that's the first lesson in understanding how not in our control things truly are. One weekend I felt like the walls were all starting to cave in and I emptied out our master bedroom and moved all of our stuff into the guest room... just so we could make more room for a baby. (That room is still empty and we haven't really touched it since....)

I have meditated a hundred times on the fact that throughout all these years everything has literally been falling into place as it should... leading up to that moment when we'll get to hold our baby. We've always known that we had 2 family-building options: adoption and surrogacy. Because we know that the baby we hold on that very first day as parents is meant to be ours, regardless of the journey it took to get there, the pressure is lifted a little. We decided that if surrogacy was still an option, then we would pursue it.

If you've ever seen "New Girl," there is an episode from season 2 called "Eggs." In the episode Jess gets stressed thinking about how many baby-making years she has left. Basically, that's where I was, and I needed to find out if my eggs were ok, and if so, we'd follow that road as far as it would take us. I've re-watched that episode several times over the last couple of years, and it really doesn't get old. If you haven't seen it... you should really go watch it on Netflix... it's hilarious.

So, in March of 2014, we made an appointment with a local fertility clinic. We got the results back within a few days and the numbers were actually pretty great. We sat down with the RE (reproductive endocrinologist) and asked a lot of questions. This was the first time we'd ever sat down and spoken to a doctor together. We went home that day with more questions to ask ourselves and set out to do even more research.

This whole process of research, discussions, and prayer took another year.

That brings us to 2015. While this window remains open, we've decided to move forward with a pregnancy, via gestational surrogacy. It's the ultimate gift, and one that we will never take for granted. It is a self-less act, one of total sacrifice, that will hopefully, one day, lead to a little Baby Perales. We know that there are no guarantees with this process, but we believe that it's worth a shot. ...Ooh... shots.... More about that in the next post.

What it all comes down to is Love. We know that we have lots of love to share and for that reason,  we will also be pursuing adoption to grow our family, regardless of how things turn out with this first journey. We may even begin that process this summer, because we know that adoption can be just as unpredictable and take a very long time. We are excited to get started with all of this family-building and know what a blessing it is going to be.

All children are a gift.  God has a plan. Those two things are true. As much of a hand as we are having in this process, ultimately, we know it's all in His hands. Understanding that has brought and will continue to bring us a lot of peace along the way.

"...The how and the when don't matter nearly as much as the simple knowing that you were meant to be loved by us. ...And we already do, unconditionally and eternally."
---excerpt from a letter to our baby

5 years ago in Cambria, Ca

No comments:

Post a Comment

We love all of the prayers and support! So, feel free to leave comments, text, or call us.